My Balls

My Balls: Yes, It's as Fucked Up as It Sounds

For my dudes that are reading this, what if the fate of the world and all of humanity rested in the fact that you can't ejaculate for one whole month? It could be a cures to say the least, right? Well for some reason the thought of this is what created today's Manga Management selection entitled Oretama or "My Balls". Believe me I wished I made up this name, but then again that's what happens when I randomly click on a Japanese word and find out what it means. The story follows a young 19-year-old virgin named Kohta who, through some strange reason, ends up with The Queen of Terror sealed away in his testicles who was suppose to come out in July to end humanity and have demons rule the Earth. The only thing stopping her from taking over the world lies in Kohta not ejaculating by any means necessary. Because of this many types of demons keep trying to get him to lose his load such as his somewhat ally Elyse, a lesser devil. She wanted to make him release the Queen of Terror at first, but starts developing a soft side for the human Kohta. What comes of the anime involves a succubus, vampire, an invisible demon, and many more. Will Kohta hold the fruits of his loins or will it spell a moment of release for him and disaster for the world? Let's get the cock jokes coming and find out in today's Manga Management selection "My Balls". I guarantee that I may need a show after all this is done.
 

AHHHH! It's the One-Eyed Monster!!!

As I've said, this manga follows the troubles of a 19 year old virgin, who somehow gets The Queen of Terror named Lady Emanniel locked away in his "family jewels", unable to let her out in the whole month of July. Because of an old man angel named Michael (yes the one in the bible) chasing the Queen of Terror down, it leads to a drunk Kohta taking a piss at a closed shrine. The old man messes up the spell to seal her away in a crystal ball but instead seals her in one of Kohta's balls leaving a  "69" shaped mark on it. The mark isn't censored but everything else down there is so don't get too many ideas you fucking perverts. The demons in Hell want their Queen to be released the month the Earth will be taken over, so they send Elyse, a lesser devil to make Kohta ejaculate. Elyse tried all she can, but due to her disgust of humans (and because she's a virgin) she can barely go near his franks and beans. She even used a spell to circumcise his privates so that they would be more sensitive. Because she's afraid of not making him do the white chocolate rain, she soon joins his side so no one takes the glory from her from trying so hard (Hehe. "Hard"). Elyse soon starts developing feelings for Kohta seeing as she gets angry with the thought of someone else making him bust a nut. So with the help of Elyse's support and magic and Kohta's willpower to save humanity, he tried to hold it in for one month, but trust me it's not easy.

Throughout the series, several devils come to Earth to try and make Kohta jizz, but that's the thing. They come only one at a time. The first one to arrive is Irene, the succubus, who tries to "eye rape" Kohta (still wish I was making this up). Irene is basically so powerful that she can even make guys feel good just by staring at them. But she's stopped and soon gives up and actually becomes an ally for Kohta. Her reason for saving humanity is because she wants to fuck all the pretty guys in the world. I guess it's to be expected as a succubus. But throughout the series, it's not just demons that get to him. At Kohta's workplace, there's a girl named Minayo who he has the hugest crush on. She seems well and innocent enough, but has one flaw to her perfection. Whenever she gets drunk, she turns into a nympho maniac and she can get drunk off of even just one beer. It would seem like paradise for Kohta, but seeing as he can't ejaculate, it's a curse for him. So along with female demons of every sort trying to rape him, he now has to worry about the girl of his dreams getting wasted and  ending humanity. July sounds like a lucky month to me!
 

Let's just think of this as "sunscreen" and no one will have to take a steel wool bath.

I can't really go into much about the rest of the manga. Most of it just has the same plot going on for about 5 volumes. A demon comes, Kohta gets in danger, Elyse bails him out every once in a while, another day saved. It does get a little interesting when the demons of Hell don't want to wait for Lady Emanniel to come out and decide to just work on spreading the Apocalypse, where neither human of demons may win. The plot thickens like 3 week old semen when Kohta has to suffer at the hands of the Devil Satan, who tries to play with Kohta until he jizzes to death. The weird thing about Satan is that you would think she would be more "busty" but she's not. I guess when you have both the powers of light and dark, tits don't really matter. Yeah, as Michael states, she was a fallen angel that became Satan. They also used to date. Go fucking figure. Anyway, the showdown between Satan and Kohta is to have him last 10 hours of sex with her have Elyse and Michael crushed to death. Believe it of not, he doesn't hold it in. Even as Kohta let's his load fly, only the arm of Lady Emanniel comes out of his Johnson and is stuck due to all the back up plumbing issues. As Satan tried to pull the arm out, Elyse tries to stop her and both demons end up in the "danger zone" of Kohta's nut. I don't think this is what people meant when they say a girl is on his nuts too much.
 

This is the face of a demon that is very pissed off. Best to remember this.

So Kohta sleeps and subconsciously goes to where Satan and Emanniel are holding Elyse hostage and the only way to save her is for him to release the dragon. As a way of distraction, Kohta agrees to do it with Elyse, but is cut short when Michael and Irene pull the lesser devil by the tail that was still sticking out of the tip. What the fuck, man. This makes any sort of S&M look like child's play. Anyway, with Kohta at the mercy of the two higher demons, they try and make him ejaculate, but blacks out and he wakes up next to Minayo and with the date being August 1, the world is saved!! But he's not out of the abstinent hole yet. Because of holding in this issue, he has issues with his ejaculatory gland that might rupture. And with the two demons still in his sack after they were suppose to come out, the only way to protect Elyse is to make her human. The only way to make her human is to have her be in love with a human. you see where I'm going with this? Kohta says he loves her, she denies her feelings and runs away, and when Kohta goes out to a boob bar with his boss (best not to ask) he releases Satan. Elyse finally comes to terms with him and will even let him splooge even if it means releasing Emanniel and with that kind of sacrifice she now knows what love is and turns human. Emanniel is released, but Satan no longer wants to take over the human world... because Michael fucked her. Plain and simple. So the world is saved and Kohta and Elyse have two kids of their very own. Kind of a storybook ending, but with naked women in it. The story is standard though it could've been shorter since most of the middle volumes had the demons coming to rape Kohta. After about volume 2 it's the same pattern; a demon is sent after Kohta, Elyse and Kohta find a way to stop it, and then were reminded that we have to look at that same structure about 25 times. It's not a bad story with the childish romance between the two main characters and there's really not much action to it. I also do give them credit for using actual biblical names with certain demons such as Beelzebub and Asmodeus. It's definitely for the mature readers and to anyone who likes harem-themed manga it's a pretty decent choice. For this manga, I give it 2 out of 5 nuts (walnuts you pervs). That's about it for this Manga Management so I hope you take a look and have a good fap to this.

Goth: This Time the Dark Side Will Have Cookies

For this segment of Manga Management, it is circled around the dark and dreary world of the creatures we call "teenager". We know most teenagers from manga and anime as peppy or energetic and in most cases, annoying. With this manga, we look at teenagers in a darker light. In fact, there might not be anything light about it. It's about murder. No sunshine romances and happy days bullshit here. Moving on, the manga I'll be reviewing is called "Goth" by Otsuichi. The manga follows two dark and disturbed teens who find they have in interest in death and murders that happen around them. Kind of like modern day Nancy Drew...only with more death. With the different murders and mysteries that happen around them, the dive into each other and get to know about each other and who they really are. Or who they really are not. You know, for something that's in black and white, it get pretty gruesome to read with the images and even the art of the characters. Your chibi faced and doe-eyed cuteness is now replaced with black irises and silhouetted scenes that makes you feel like you're in an old black and white detective story where the detective always wears a trench coat and only speaks in monologues. With the title of this manga, it can only be explained that anyone who has such a fascination with death and murder will be considered "Goth" so all you emos can piss off. I'll find something for you later. And Goth doesn't have any painted-up weirdos with piercings in every part of their body so don't look for any mentions of My Chemical Romance. So let's travel to the dark side and look at "Goth". And I do plan on letting off some spoilers to the manga so don't get pissy at me if you wanted a mystery story. I suggest you read it yourself, see what you like, and come back to this page and see that I know what I'm talking about!

Anyone want a million high fives from severed hands is welcome to smack their computer screens as much as you want.

The manga is only about 5 chapters and is a pretty short read. Nonetheless, it still takes the time to explain the male character's background in the first twelve pages.The character we're introduced to is nameless until the very last chapter (just to move things along, his name is Kamiyama). His story is pretty simple and basic; he's been a pretty messed up kid in the head. Even showing a panel of him as a kid coloring the faces of dolls black and dismembering them. Not really Bebe's kid, but more like Damien from "The Omen". In the first chapter, the news story is that someone is killing people and taking their hands. He has been watching a girl in his class named Yoru Morino, someone whose also very distant from people just like Kamiyama. Kamiyama finds out the culprit of the hand case and tried to provoke him into thinking Morino knows what he's done. The culprit is caught and Morino gets to keep her hands, to Kamiyama's dismay. Think of it as he wanted to hold her hand, except he didn't want the body or person who was attached to it. In a weird way, Morino and Kamiyama talk and become somewhat friends Thought I doubt you have a friend that plays with the thought of KILLING YOU!!!  But they do realize that they have the same taste in death and murder and soon click (but there's nothing romantic about this whatsoever so get those perverted thoughts out of your damn head).

I don't think this kind of mosquito bite you can just put rubbing alcohol on and cover it up with a band-aid. Hope you weren't eating when you saw this.

The next story revolves around a notebook Morino finds at her favorite cafe that has the details of gruesome murders that happens. As the two walk through the forest one victim was supposedly killed in, they find her body mangled to the point of not looking human. Things get even more complicated when Morino decides to take the clothes of the victim and dress like her the next time she goes to the cafe with Kamiyama. Believe it or not, dressing and looking like a person from the news who was brutally murdered is not really the best idea when Morino is kidnapped, most likely be the killer. Kamiyama soon takes a guess and realizes who the killer is. The killer says congratulations to him, gives him the key to the room Morino is in, and leaves without another word. What the hell kind of killer acts this calm about being discovered?? And Kamiyama wasn't any much better. He just sat there and let the guy leave. The killer was basically the cafe worker of the cafe Morino goes to. Morino gets set free and Kamiyama gets a cool knife set left by the cafe owner and a piece of paper with a bunch of crosses on it. And no, it's never 100% explained why the killer had crosses on the paper.

Why the hell they did this picture for the 3rd chapter is beyond me. I guess it's hard to think of fan service ideas when the basic theme of your story is MURDER!!!

In another chapter, we start out with some random guy who buried a boy into the ground and drowned him using a stick of bamboo to flood the box. With no rhyme or reason. Just because he felt like it. Seriously!! That's the kind of reasoning for people who come back from Hell and start killing people because Hell was too boring. It's not like we ask Michael Myers why the hell he keeps coming back, but it at least shows how his life was shit and wanted to have some fun or whatever. But I digress. The big twist of the story is that the guy (whose mostly nameless through the story) thought he buried Morino, but buried some other classmate who found Morino's school ID somewhere. The girl turns out to have had a boyfriend who ultimately finds his girlfriend dead with Kamiyama. In pure grief, he has Kamiyama bury him with his dead girlfriend and on goes with the story. It's nothing really too interesting about this one since, for some reason, we mostly hang out with the killer and see that he's mostly just some confused guy who for some reason cared the fact that the girl died by killing herself.
As for the last two chapters, they deal with a gruesome past dealing Morino and her twin sister names Yu Morino. It's kinds of the cliff hanger chapters since it's finally realized that Kamiyama has wanted to kill Morino for a long. The background for the story is that Yoru and Yu liked playing jokes like they were dead to surprise people and while doing a hanging prank, her sister accidentally hung herself. The bulk is mostly that and in the end there's a bigger twist. This one, I'll leave you to find out. The last couple chapters are kind of the same as the rest of the book, but just involves the main characters more directly. In the end, Morino is depressed, Kamiyama is depressing, and you just feel like you need to watch the Care Bears Movie just to get your sanity back.
The book is fine for a read if you want something dark and mysterious. If there's one thing you notice in these stories is that whoever the villain or antagonist is in the chapter, it's someone related to the main characters, but it's so loosely connected that they don't even need to be there. It's not like you get too much info on whoever is the murderer in the chapter; it just passes by in a minute. Even in the final chapters, the killer turns out to be someone we're introduced to in the very last chapter. Another thing with this one is that what happens is usually a misconception or a coincidence. It tries to play itself as being dramatic twists, but most comes off as not getting the whole story all at once. Even how they find the killer is some twist of luck and coincidences. It kind of takes you out of the fact that these two people keep avoiding death as if the Grim Reaper was afraid of them. But the stories are interesting, the art is dark and fitting to the atmosphere, and the twists, no matter how forced, add more to the story. There's even a live action movie of the book called Goth: Love of Death. In the end, the manga isn't a big suggestion; it's more like a light read that you can be done with, not read it for a while, and end up writing a review on it for all of you six fans to read. I give it 2 out of 5 creepy ass skulls. A good story, but will remain just a one shot to me. Well that's it for my Manga Management this time. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go get a teddy bear to help me sleep at night.